Isn't life fascinating? The ever-changing circles we find ourselves in expose us to new words, experiences, and perspectives. It's the beauty of life's journey — a journey meant for evolution, change, and growth. We weren't designed to stay stagnant; we were meant to explore. As I sit in Pedro's, a Mexican bar in Dumbo, Brooklyn, New York, contemplating this amidst my many explorations and evolving circles, I'm struck by the diverse individuals I encounter.
Defining the Ph.D. Experience:
In the midst of my own evolving circles, I've had the pleasure of crossing paths with several Ph.D. holders, and from an outsider's perspective, it's truly impressive, it's AMAZING really. Regardless of the field, earning a Ph.D. is a monumental achievement, elevating one to elite status. As always my natural curiosity kicks in, leading me to ask questions like: What inspired you? How did you navigate this journey? What was the experience like?
For 32 years, I went without knowing anyone remotely close to obtaining a doctorate. Now, I'm married to an extremely amazing woman with a Ph.D. Her work on macrophages, the body's first responders to immune attacks, is world-class and sets the benchmark in her field. I'm in absolute awe of her intellect and enjoy the depths of our frequent conversations and debates. I've also had the honour of meeting many other Ph.Ds from a number of different fields.
The Struggle of Post-Doctoral Trauma:
However, no matter how in awe I am, I'm taken back and absolutely shocked to find that there is often-associated trauma with having a Ph.D. It's a subject that I approach with caution and great curiosity, but in my experience I have noticed individuals completing or having completed their Ph.D. don't always carry it with pride. Many lack confidence, second-guess their actions, and never feel like they're doing enough. Although for some a Ph.D. experience can be a great time in their life, for many its the opposite. It's an extremely difficult time, one that destroys self-confidence.
Challenging the Status Quo:
The lack of pride and belief among Ph.D. holders stems from various circumstances, including but not limited to the expectation that they must be available around the clock, 365 days a year, with saying no often not being an option. Their work undergoes constant scrutiny, often accompanied by extremely negative and condescending remarks, in addition to being told it's not enough. Furthermore, when breakthroughs are achieved, lab heads frequently swoop in taking credit. I won't even delve into the darker side of it, where instances of sexual harassment and worse persist. This harsh reality leaves Ph.D. holders feeling not just that they haven't done enough but that they aren't enough, robbing them of their voice and keeping them in a perpetual quest for approval.
Empowering Change Through Coaching:
I strongly believe that a Ph.D. is an achievement one should wear proudly—chest up, chin up, with a badge on their collar that declares, 'I did this.' Not looking at the ground, questioning their worth or feeling that their accomplishments are insufficient. This is something I'm deeply committed to changing. Because where I come from, individuals don't just get to jump in at the last second and claim credit. They don't have the privilege of attaching their names to things simply because they're affiliated with someone who contributed a little to your project. People don't get to dismiss your efforts as insufficient or incorrect and then hijack your work to bask in the praise. You do the work, and it belongs to you. You control whose names are associated with it. You have a voice!
Actionable Points:
1. Identify Your Accomplishments: Take inventory of your achievements and acknowledge their significance.
2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Replace self-doubt with affirmations of your worth and capabilities.
3. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your time, energy, and mental well-being.
4. Assert Yourself: Stand up for yourself and your work, asserting ownership and deserving recognition.
5. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of mentors, peers, and coaches who uplift and empower you.
6. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, recognising that you're doing the best you can.
I've personally witnessed the immense benefit of someone standing up for themselves in these situations, albeit nervously as it's not a common practice. In that specific instance, they did achieve the desired result—the removal of a name from THEIR work. It was a significant victory, and all it required was standing up for themselves and using their voice.
At Lost In Living Mindset and Lifestyle Coaching, I provide tools and habits to completely overturn the toxic trauma associated with obtaining a Ph.D., allowing individuals to embrace the pride and confidence that should accompany the title Ph.D./Dr. Through personalised coaching sessions, we start by addressing the language we use, setting daily/weekly/monthly goals, and amplifying the internal voice to build the strength needed to reach the next level.
It's no longer acceptable to passively accept the mindset of "that's unfortunately how it is." It's time to revolutionise the process for everyone. It's time to find your voice, stand up for yourself, and believe in yourself unwaveringly, progressing not only through your Ph.D. but also through the post-doctorate phase like never before. Your work is incredible, and it's high time you acknowledge that, because I am certainly proud!
So let this be the start of the conversion, the beginning of the shift in the dynamic. I see you, you are doing amazing things and I am proud. Its time for you to believe this also, to find that voice and speak up as well! For yourself, for your work and for those around you.

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