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Breaking Free from the Chains of 'Be Realistic'

There's a combination of words, when strung together, that I've come to loathe. Unfortunately, it's a phrase I've encountered far too often, and it's always been a barrier for me: "BE REALISTIC."


As someone who's inherently a dreamer, few things are as soul-crushing as hearing those close to you dismiss your dreams or desired life path with a casual directive to "be realistic." In this piece, I want to dive deeper into the concept of being "REAL" — what it truly means, why it stings so profoundly, where it originates, and, most importantly, how we can reshape our response to this demoralising phrase.


The irony lies in the fact that no matter how intimately someone knows you, they never truly walk in your shoes. While people can share experiences and emotions, the kaleidoscope of individual journeys is something only the person living it comprehends fully. Parents, siblings, friends, colleagues — everyone charts a different course. We all perceive the world slightly differently, and therein lies the beauty of our uniqueness. So, expecting someone to conform to our version of "being realistic" becomes a futile exercise.


This directive seems to strike a deep chord, and I believe it stems from our childhood. In our early years, we're encouraged to think freely; grand ideas are endorsed, and excitement is met with affirmation, not criticism or outright rejection. Yet, as we grow older, the boundless enthusiasm that once defined our dreams is often met with skepticism. Why the shift? Why don't we continue to champion dreams as we once did? Could it be that the lack of encouragement is a significant obstacle holding us back?


This phrase, in my opinion, finds its roots in two places — one driven by love and the other by jealousy. The version stemming from love is often an attempt at protection, a family member or friend trying to shield you from potential disappointment or heartbreak. However, this protective instinct fails to recognize that instant dismissal can be equally, if not more, disheartening. On the flip side, jealousy and resentment come into play when someone lacking self-belief desires to hold you back with them. In both cases, these directives don't represent your limits and capabilities but rather projections of someone else's fears and limitations. Perhaps this serves as a signal to reevaluate your circle?


Easier said than done, I know! Having been on the receiving end of this phrase countless times, the crucial key lies in understanding that ONLY YOU set your limits. In an ideal world, we'd all encourage each other to chase our dreams relentlessly. But until that becomes the norm, remember that when people attempt to set your limits, it's often a projection of their own beliefs or a manifestation of jealousy. Your dreams, no matter how extravagant, shouldn't be abandoned just because someone else advises against it. Every industry, no matter how saturated, eagerly awaits the next trailblazer. Surround yourself with those who don't set limits but inspire you to surpass your own.


Actionable Points:

1. Identify Your Dreams: Take the time to reflect on your deepest aspirations, regardless of how "realistic" they may seem.


2. Seek Supportive Circles: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage your dreams rather than imposing limits.


3. Challenge Limiting Beliefs: When faced with skepticism or criticism, remind yourself that only you set your limits.


4. Take Small Steps: Break down your dreams into manageable steps and take consistent action towards them.


5. Cultivate Unwavering Belief: Embrace the uniqueness of your journey and believe in your ability to achieve greatness.


6. Reach Out for Support: Don't hesitate to seek guidance and encouragement from mentors, coaches, or supportive communities.


In the grand tapestry of life, the phrase "BE REALISTIC" can act as an unexpected knot, halting the seamless flow of dreams. However, as we unravel the layers, it becomes evident that our unique paths, experiences, and perspectives render any universal notion of "being realistic" obsolete. The sting of this phrase, rooted in our childhood and often stemming from good intentions or darker motives, shouldn't dictate the boundlessness of our dreams. Instead, let it be a catalyst for change. Acknowledge that ONLY YOU set your limits.


Surround yourself with those who uplift rather than impose limits, and, through the avenues of Lost in Living Mindset and Lifestyle Coaching, let's reshape how we think and speak about ourselves and our aspirations. Let's cultivate habits that transform fleeting dreams into tangible realities. Reach out, share your dreams, and remember, the first step is unwavering belief. Embrace the uniqueness of your journey; after all, we're all meant for greatness.




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